I have a confession to make. This week I was watching MAFS.
If you have been following the show you will know that Domenica, one of the brides, was recently married and divorced before joining the show as a contestant. The entire first episode of her MAFS wedding was based around her BIG, HUGE news.
I was on tender hooks waiting for the big reveal.
The big news was that she had been divorced. Que my immense disappointment.
The language that channel 9 used around delivering Domenica’s big “news” is the very problem that exists in today’s day and age when we are discussing divorce.
The language used was very much based in Doom and Gloom. It alluded to her feeling as if she was a failure because she had previously been divorced.
I call bullshit on this.
We know nothing about Domenica’s former marriage. We have no idea why that relationship didn’t work, and more importantly why should we care?
Divorce is not a failure. It is not a pathway demonstrating a fault in you or your former partner. Something to be feared, ashamed and uncomfortable about.
The type of language used in MAFS when discussing Divorce, further perpetuates that exact myth which is deeply rooted in an outdated view on ‘for better or worse.’
The unhealthy obsession with magnifying divorce to be a depressing minefield contributes to the decline in mental health for so many considering separation or those brave enough to take the first step. It encourages people to continue to view Divorce as a failure.
For better or for worse does not mean suffering in a marriage where your mental health is being eroded and you no longer share joint goals, or dreams with your partner.
Leaving a marriage that is no longer fulfilling you is not a failure. Leaving a marriage that is no longer filled with mutual respect, adoration, commitment and shared aspirations is an act of bravery and the highest act of self love that could be performed.
I struggle to understand the irony of a major network who perpetuates this type of divorce narrative and yet claims to be assisting people to find love and to encourage people to live their best lives in their new found relationships. Channel 9 you need to do better.
By perpetuating the myth that Divorce is a failure through this popular TV show, we are effectively telling people it’s fine to surrender to love and to be vulnerable enough to marry a stranger, but please do not champion your divorce, it does not sell ratings.
It is socially irresponsible for a major television network to be isolating the brave. To be isolating those who are in the middle of a radical life change for the better. When we should be celebrating the choice to start life again and live a life that is based on joy, love and adoration.
Channel 9 it’s time for a change. You are at the forefront of this movement. Lead by example.
It’s time to change the narrative about Divorce.
Written by Collaborative, Family Lawyer, Cassandra.
