With the Greater Sydney COVID-19 lockdown extended for an extra week, and announcements made that schools are offering online learning for the first week back after the school holidays, you might have run out of ideas on how to best utilise this time with your children and keep them entertained.

The Kalpaxis Legal Family have collaborated together to bring you this Support Space article with our top 10 fun things to do with your children during lockdown.

(1) Cook with your children and make recipes that you’ve never made before!

Lockdown is a unique time where you are able to utilise the time you have at home with the kids doing things you’ve never done before. For us, we have been very interested in attempting new recipes and cuisines.

“My kids love to cook. Food is a big component in our family and always brings us together. There’s nothing more comforting than sharing a home-cooked meal together that we’ve all helped each other to create.” – Cassandra

Below are some dishes that Cassandra has created with her children during this lockdown including Spaghetti Bolognese, Chocolate Fudge Cake and Moroccan Lentils.

Collaborative Practice involves family lawyers coming together, in a collegiate fashion, and working with each other to have your separation resolved in a manner where positive communication, effective problem-solving and a holistic approach are placed at the forefront.

Whilst a collaborative approach to Family Law is still relatively new in Australia, given the substantial cost and time benefits that it has, many (just like you!) going through this journey are interested in going down this separation pathway.

To this, many legal practitioners are now throwing the term “collaborative” around as a business strategy and acting contrary to what this term is designed to entail.

This Support Space article will outline what makes a Family Lawyer “Collaborative” and the benefits that can be achieved when you engage one that does not just talk the talk, but also walks the walk.

What is being “collaborative”?

To better understand what it means to be “collaborative”, let’s look at the definition of collaboration first.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines collaboration as follows:

The situation of two or more people working together to create or achieve the same thing

With examples as follows:

The two playwrights worked in close collaboration (with each other) on the script.

The new airport is a collaboration between two of the best architects in the country.

Let’s now re-define collaboration in the context of separation.

The practice of two or more Family Lawyers working together to create or achieve a settlement that is agreed upon by all parties, in the best interests of the child/children (if applicable).

Now let’s give two examples in the same context.

The two Family Lawyers worked in close collaboration with each other to settle the matter at Arbitration.

The Interim Parenting Plan reached at Mediation is a collaboration between two of the best Family Lawyers in the country.

Working together for a common purpose is at the forefront of what it means to be collaborative. If there is no common purpose or objective, then the situation which may arise is that there may be legal practitioners that state that they are “collaborative”, when in fact, they are not because they are not working together for that common objective.

Sometimes this not anyone’s “fault” but simply that it has not been completely laid out that this is the objective. When this is not transparent, clear and communicated effectively, this can mitigate a timely resolution of your matter being achieved “collaboratively”.

This means that, at first instance, the family lawyers should already be ascertaining what are the goals and objectives.

Let’s use this example:

Lawyer 1: “My client wants Dad to spend every fortnight with the kids only. She’s worried about Dad’s drinking”.

Lawyer 2: “Well… I’m told by Dad that every fortnight is not enough. He’s told me that he doesn’t drink anymore and has done a detox program and Mum knows about that. Dad says that Mum works a lot and leaves the kids with grandma and grandpa during the week, he doesn’t understand why he can’t see the kids instead?

Clearly here, we have two people with two conflicting goals but with the same long-term objective.

Dad wants to spend more time with the kids in circumstances where he thinks Mum works during the week and provides the children to the grandparents. Dad would rather have the children with him during the week to lighten the load off Mum and the grandparents. He wants more time with the kids, but Mum doesn’t think that’s appropriate given his previous drinking.

Mum is willing to allow Dad to spend time with the kids, but there’s a safety concern regarding his drinking there.

The practitioners in this scenario should be able to identify first and foremost, what are the goals and objectives of both the parties involved and thereafter, how can we work together to find a solution which is agreeable to both Mum and Dad? What will need to be done?

At the end of the day, both Mum and Dad have a common, long-term goal of allowing the other to spend time with the kids, but there a few “pit stops” along the way to this long-term objective influenced by Mum’s working and Dad’s previous drinking.

Mum might say, “But I don’t believe him! He’s driven while drunk before. How do I know he’s done a detox program?”

Dad might say, “I haven’t drank for two years and I have a certificate to prove it”.

A collaborative effort will need to be utilised by both lawyers in this scenario to micro-manage the issues with a view of reaching those long-term objectives.

A separation usually has a number of influencing factors which does not only encompass legal issues, but can also be relevant to psychological, emotional, developmental, social and financial. A diligent Collaborative Family Lawyer will be able to work alongside another and realise the areas of a separation that they simply do not have the expertise to advise on.

As mentioned in my previous article wherein I spoke about Collaborative Mediations (click here), lawyers are not accountants or psychologists. Similarly, psychologists and accountants are not lawyers.

Where Collaborative Family Lawyers can go the extra mile in working together is being able to refer on to other, allied Dispute Resolution Professionals to advise you on those additional factors or peripheral issues which lawyers simply do not have the in-depth knowledge or experience about.

Perhaps as lawyers we can understand that there will be implications on the developmental wellbeing of a child only seeing Dad once a fortnight, but the ins-and-outs of that (and with particular reference to everyone’s circumstances being unique), we simply cannot advise. A diligent Collaborative Family Lawyer in this sense would be able to understand this and suggest that the parties attend upon perhaps a Child Psychologist or Counsellor who has exclusive dealings with these types of concerns.

All in all, a Collaborative Family Lawyer has an approach which is built on:

Problem-solving to reach a solution which is tenable, cost-effective and time-efficient

Teamwork and Collaboration

Being future-focused whilst also being able to micro-manage

Empathy and the ability to place themselves in another’s shoes

Commitment to your separation journey and understanding of the goals you seek to achieve

Why us?

At Kalpaxis Legal, we pride ourselves on doing law differently. We have been well-recognised for the unique approach we take to Family Law which is collaborative and holistic.

We will approach your separation with all the characteristics mentioned above and welcome all with open arms.

Our objective is to create and strengthen happy families.

There’s nothing more that we love than hearing from our clients later down the track w and learning that the results that they achieved, through a Collaborative Approach with our firm, has yielded positive results in the long-term.

We also have a Collaborative Family Network consisting of allied Dispute Resolution Professionals including Accountants, Love & Relationship Experts, Grief Counsellors, Real Estate Agents and Health Coaches who all play a pivotal role in the Collaborative process.

We have partnered up with Dispute Resolution Centre Australia, Australia’s first Dispute Resolution Centre with all your needs in one single location, regardless of the dispute and utilise their services in a number of our Family Law matters.

We are also proud to announce that we are an Elite Sponsor of Dispute Resolution Centre Australia’s premiere “Peacemakers Awards”, which recognises, celebrates and showcases the incredible contributions of multidisciplinary professionals in Australian alternative dispute resolution and collaborative practice.

For more information on the Peacemakers Awards click here.

The Awards are open to a number of professionals, not just in the legal industry, who utilise an approach that can be considered out of the norm.

Interested in learning more?

Get in touch with us (click here!) to schedule an Initial Strategy Session with the family at Kalpaxis Legal to get started on creating your own unique and bespoke separation pathway today.

With the recent announcements of changes to the Family Court of Australia, and the ever-existent backlog of the Courts, there is an increased need for you to resolve your dispute through Alternative Dispute Resolution methods outside of Court.

Why should you wait a considerable amount of time, and as a result, spend unthinkable amounts of money waiting for the next step, when you have the ability to take control of your dispute, and utilise processes that offer flexibility, positive communication and resolutions that provide support, transparency and clarity for the near and distant future.

At Kalpaxis Legal, we are proud to offer a number of Alternative Dispute Resolution pathways, such as Mediation, Arbitration, Family Dispute Resolution and Parenting Coordination. If you haven’t yet heard about Parenting Coordination, click here to read our Support Space article here.

By now you would know about Mediation entails, but to refresh your memory we outline the process below.

Refresh my memory… what is Mediation?

Mediation is a process where you and the other party involved in a dispute are assisted by a Mediator, who is an experienced, neutral and impartial third party who aims to help resolve your dispute and guide the process.

A Mediator will listen to both you and the other party as to your concerns, needs, goals and objectives.

The aim of Mediation is to provide a comfortable atmosphere wherein you and the other party are able to freely engage in discussions relating to your dispute with a view of achieving an outcome at the end that is agreeable to the two of you. If all goes well and discussions are fruitful, the agreement reached between the two of you can be encompassed, formally, through written documentation.

Understandably, the benefits of the Mediation process include:

(1) Less time and money expended than being embroiled in litigation

(2) Being guided and assisted by a neutral third party who has a wealth of experience 

(3) A confidential and comfortable environment where you are able to freely raise your concerns and voice your needs without the pressure of having it used against you later on

(4) The ability to allow other collaborative and allied dispute resolution professionals such as Accountants, Psychologists, Counsellors and Health Coaches to provide their input in an effort to support you during this journey

(5) The ability for Mediation to occur from the comfort of your own home with the option to choose flexible methods of conducting the Mediation such as shuttle-style, telephone, web conferencing or face-to-face.

Why would I need a series of Mediations?

We often see people just like you who want to book in a Mediation.

It’s important for you to know that your dispute may be (and usually is) larger than you imagined and cannot be confined in the small timespan of one day.

If you are going through a Family Law dispute, your dispute is likely to involve Parenting and/or Property. For many scenarios, possibly yours, this may involve both. Even if it was to encompass one or the other this already raises a number of issues that need to be dealt with that we commonly encourage to be addressed through a series of Mediations.

For example, “Property Disputes” can commonly involve the following:

                  Ascertaining financial and non-financial contributions

                  Discussions around the selling or refinancing of property

                  Trust structures and interests in companies or businesses

                  Superannuation issues such as self-managed superannuation funds (SMSFs) 

                  Interim property matters such as who is going to live in the property until settlement?

                  Large asset pools and investment portfolios

                  Rental income issues

                  Repair works and maintenance of the property

                  And so forth.

With “Parenting Disputes”, your Mediation can seek to address a number of the following issues also:

                  Children with special needs

                  Spending time with the children, what does this look like?

                  Schooling and education

                  Medical and health care

                  Long-term goals for the children such as university, work and travel

                  Mental health and assistance needing to be required by the relevant treaters

                  Communication with the other parent

                  Issues concerning extended family members such as grandparents, aunts and uncles

                  New partners and step parents

                  The list goes on….

Simply by looking at the above, it is clear that if your dispute even just contains either Parenting or Property that confining these issues in the span of a day can be disadvantageous to a resolution that is not only fruitful, but tenable for the future.

This is obviously impacted should your dispute include both.

In addition to Parenting and Property issues, your Family Dispute can involve other issues such as spousal maintenance, child support, breaches of existing orders (Contraventions), and agreements reached in a collaborative, amicable fashion to not pursue Court in the future.

In an effort to address each branch of the major issues of your dispute, we encourage you to consider organising a series of Mediations.

Why’s that?

Because you can allocate a specific date to a specific issue or set of issues.

You also have the ability to craft the process however you like through your proposal.

For example, dependent on the circumstances of your dispute, you may wish to allocate your Mediations as follows:

Mediation 1 (half-day) – Property Issues (if these are minimal in your matter)

Mediation 2 – Parenting Issues

Mediation 3 – Deeper and peripheral parenting issues such as Family Therapy, Children’s medical appointments and longer-term issues that weren’t resolved in Mediation 2

Please note that the above is simply one example of how you can craft the process to suit your specific circumstances.

What can make the process of a series of Mediations even more beneficial?

In addition to the benefits mentioned above, there is unique utility in allowing the professional expertise, input and advice from allied dispute resolution professionals to engage in the process.

As a series of Mediations provides you with a more relaxed, comfortable atmosphere that is not symbolic of a “high pressure cooker” environment, there is even more opportunity for those allied professionals to have a say in what they believe and advise to be of assistance for a long-term, tenable resolution.

If you were to engage in a series of Mediations without those additional professionals, it certainly still is beneficial, but if the opportunity arises and you have the consent of the other party the benefits sky rocket.

Why is that?

Lawyers are lawyers and Mediators are Mediators.

Lawyers are not Accountants. In a similar way, Mediators are not Grief Experts or Counsellors.

Mediators guide the process, but they regrettably do not have the specialised experience in these peripheral issues that may arise. This is not a discredit to Mediators or Lawyers, but it is simply fact, otherwise we wouldn’t have people having a career in these other professional roles!

Accountants have studied accounting, have decades of experience in these fields much like Counsellors, Real Estates or Nutritionists do. Whilst Mediators and Lawyers are aware of these issues it is simply not true to state that they have specialised experience in these fields.

As legal or dispute resolution professionals, we simply do not know the finer details of tax implications on your self-managed superannuation funds, or the effect of unmanaged grief twenty years down the track. We do know though that it does have an effect, but the ins-and-outs of the effects we simply cannot say.

Lawyers provide legal advice.

You would not go to a Nutritionist for legal advice, or a dentist for advice on your knees.

The greatest takeaway from a series of Collaborative Mediations is that you’re able to become fully aware of these implications and how they are needed to be addressed during the discussions that you have in Mediation, with the support, guidance and advice from the relevant professionals.

Want to learn more about resolving your Parenting dispute through a series of Mediations? Get in touch with us (click here!) to book in a consultation with the KL Family.